Cheers to New Ventures!

Ok!! So if you know anything about me, you know that I’m always thinking of a new idea, or a way to make more money. No, I’m not greedy, but I do have a family, and that’s EXPENSIVE! 😰

So I’ve finally found something, along with my blogging, to create another stream of income. I’m so excited!!! I’m also terrified!! I always get nervous. 🤦🏾‍♀️ I honestly have no reason to be afraid, aside from being afraid of failure. However, if you don’t ask, the answer will always be no. 😊😊

Amidst the chaos of having a full-time job, being a full-time mommy, and studying for my PMP certification, I’ve also decided to open my own Social Media Marketing Agency. I love social media, and I absolutely LOVE the thought of working from anywhere in the world!!

In 2017, online ads racked up a total of $72 BILLION in sales……yes BILLION!! I don’t know about you, but I do believe that there’s a few million dollars in that pot for me and my family. 🙌🏾

I’ve been working on my strategy to attract new clients, and I’ve posted on other sites as well. I’m so ready to get started!! Of course this is a new journey for me, but I plan to track my progress, and also share my strategies in courses that will be listed on my blog. Stay tuned for updates!! 💕

Also, if you know of any businesses that are in need of assistance via social media, please forward the contact information to: smsimplifiedllc@gmail.com !

Is it Ever OK to Ghost Someone?

Ghosting…..ahhhhh!! Have you ever been talking to a person that you REALLY like, and after a few months of dating, talking all the time, and occasional romp sessions, you get ghosted?

HOW RUDE ‼️ *in my Stephanie Tanner, Full House voice 😂😂😂😂

What happened after that hot date that made him decide to stop speaking to me completely? 🤔 Do I smell bad, was I complaining too much, am I too big, am I not successful enough??? The list of questions that pop into your head are endless after being ghosted. What’s even worse is that some of us will send a text asking “What did I do, or what’s wrong with me?”, and STILL get no response. Whew!! That is just UNACCEPTABLE!

In situations like that, I’d hate to be ghosted, and I’ve experienced it. It hurts. To this day, I never figured it out at all.

Recently though, I was the Ghost-Er, instead of the Ghost-ee 🤦🏾‍♀️. I know, I know, it’s not nice, but let me explain:

When I’m getting to know someone, I let it be known that I’ve been through a lot, and I’m not at a place in my life where I can handle passive-aggressive communication or any inappropriate activities from the person I’m seeing. As adults, most of the time, we know when something is inappropriate, but the saying “ask for forgiveness instead of permission” applies to the people who do inappropriate things in relationships.

If we spend hours talking about things that we don’t like, things that are unacceptable, or things that make us both uncomfortable, yet, the person still crosses that line, I feel that due diligence was done, and if I cut contact, the reason should be clear.

I have spent years trying to teach men how to respect me. Honey, if that respect isn’t there from day one, it won’t ever be there. By accepting certain things from people, you are subconsciously showing them that it’s ok to do it. In the past few days, I cut someone off because I felt that there were too many “subliminal” Facebook posts, passive aggressive behavior, and inappropriate postings/conversations.

And I honestly don’t feel bad at all.

I don’t have the energy to argue with anyone. And, maybe that means I’m not ready to fully date, but it felt great to make a decision about something and stick with it. I chose my feelings.

So, while ghosting is hurtful and confusing, it probably doesn’t hold the weight that you think it does, especially if the person was already disrespectful.

To ghost or not to ghost?……that is the question LOL!

*I am not a relationship coach….I have been to hell and back, and I’m just fishing and throwing them back 😂😂😂

You don’t ATTRACT the wrong men, you ACCEPT the wrong men!

So, today I was venting in a group chat with my friends about how I always attract the wrong types of men. I really started to feel bad about it too, because I’m 30, unmarried, with two kids. 😩 *cue the violins 🎻

These are the types of men I’ve attracted:

1. The Underdog – He has always been looked over, and is always trying to prove that he deserves a spot at the top. However, he refuses to see that his lack of motivation is the key factor for most of his problems. 🤯

2. The Flaky Guy – Always texts to make plans, but either forgets or never follows through with them. He does this every few months, just to see if I’m still single I believe. Of course I agree to the plans, but I never prepare because I know the drill. 😰

3. The Serial Cheater – He is in relationships with several different women, and is often married. Somehow, he still finds time to send messages on Facebook to say how much he wants to see me. 🙄

4. The Mama’s Boy – He lives for his mother, and clings to her. Consults her for every decision, and lots of times, she pays his bills for him because he just “doesn’t have time to get to them”. 😐

5. Mr. Can’t Keep a Job – He doesn’t have stable employment. Most of the time he is in between jobs, and doesn’t have a reliable source of income. This one throws hints about needing money or being hungry, and it almost seems like he doesn’t want to work. 😴

Until now, I always thought that there was a certain vibe that I was putting out, and I’ve had people even ask me what I was doing wrong to attract such tasteless men. Well……

🗣if you’re a beautiful woman, you will attract ALL TYPES OF MEN…….but the problem arises because we ACCEPT the men who are completely wrong for us.

Just because Mr. Can’t Keep a Job likes me, that doesn’t mean that I have to accept his advances. Clearly I’d be taking care of him, so it would be a third child. NO WAY!!

Just because the “Oh I like to keep my relationship private” likes me, that doesn’t mean I have to accept. That point of view does not align with what I want for myself, so it would be a waste of time to become emotionally invested with a man who is more than likely dealing with multiple women and wants to leave the door open to see who works best for him. Not happening!

Ladies (and gentlemen), find peace within yourself. Find happiness in being single, and appreciate the freedom while you have it. It is sooooo much better to be single, than to be involved with someone who makes you feel like crap. Stop accepting it! 💕

The “At Least” Mentality

The picture above is from 2006. I’m sitting on top of my BABY, a blue 1998 Honda Accord. 💕💕

I LOVED THAT CAR!! I remember passing by the car when it was for sale. I wanted it so bad, and one day, my dad decided to stop and test drive it. Turns out, the car didn’t go in reverse 😳. Crazy, but I think those Honda’s have transmission issues. I didn’t care at all LOL!! I had to have that car. My parents couldn’t afford to buy me a brand new car, and I was ok with that, I just wanted to be on the road.

I was so happy when my dad brought it home!! It was $1,400, but you couldn’t tell me that it wasn’t a $30,000 car! I couldn’t contain my excitement!! I was all over the county in “baby blue”. I even quit playing basketball to “loaf the road”, as my coach said 😂😂😂 but that’s a different story for a different day.

Right now I’m thinking about my car. As much as I loved it, I wasn’t willing to wait for a fully functional car. I had to have THAT ONE. 🤦🏾‍♀️. It made a loud noise when it started up, wouldn’t go in reverse (so I had to park uphill or in an area where I could make a loop), and the back door was dented pretty badly. In spite of the obvious, I was driving and I was happy (or so I thought).

How many times have we rushed a process, just to have SOMETHING? In my mind, any car was better than no car. Oddly enough, that mentality spread throughout my life. First in relationships. So what if he cheated a little, At least I wasn’t alone. So what if he’s not financially responsible? I can pay my own bills and pay for some dates.

It even spread into my friendships. So what if she only calls me when she needs something? At least I have someone to call when I want to chit chat. So what if the friendship is one-sided? At least I have someone to text.

Let’s get out of the AT LEAST mentality. I should have waited for a fully functional car. I should have waited and passed on some of the relationships and friendships that were presented to me, because they were not a fit for me.

I think it boils down to being confident and feeling that you deserve the best. For the longest time, I didn’t really feel that way. I was almost trained to accept less. But now……..ohhhhhh baby!!!! Try me now! 💁🏾‍♀️

If I see that something doesn’t meet my standards, whether it’s a house, a car, a man, a friend, a dress lol……I’ll pass. 👌🏾 I no longer have room for the bare minimum in my life.

Will the Narcissist Come Back?

I did a little research about a Narcissist’s return, and this is what I’ve found:

What will make a narcissist start valuing his ex-partner again or possibly want her again?

Several things. However, I’ll list 2 reasons, I believe, a Narcissist will re-idealize (they don’t value anyone) a target…

  1. He’s out of/low on supply. One of many reasons people cannot get closure from narcissistic relationships, is because narcissists do not end relationships. They take breaks from them. Many narcissists cannot be alone. They need a constant flow of attention/energy because they cannot generate their own. They’re empty vessels living in a perpetual state of need. So, they collect people and store them to use (as needed) to fulfill their needs. When a new target isn’t what the narcissist thought they’d be, or, when one wisens up and leaves, the narcissist goes through his collection of bodies to replace that energy source. He’s able to sneak back in through the cracks of the doors he leaves ajar with “exes”. It’s also likely that a narcissist will circle back to an old flame to obtain whatever that target provided for them while in a “relationship” with a new target. They’re insatiable people. Nothing and no one will ever be enough. They re-idealize in order to get what they want, PERIOD. It’s never about the target. It’s ALWAYS about the Narcissist getting their endless needs met. So, if they have to cry, profess love, beg, lie, cheat, or, treat you like a prince/princess (re-idealize) to get you to give them what they want, they will. But, as soon as they get what they want, they’ll drop you – again.
  2. The target is happy and moving on. Or, they’re alone and doing fine without the narcissist. Based on my experience, narcissists will attempt to disrupt your life once you begin to heal, move on and start rebuilding yourself and life without them. They don’t want you to be happy. They want you to be miserable LIKE/WITH them. Once they see you regaining your strength, they’ll circle back around to try to knock you back down. They’ll always try to hurt you worse than the time before in an effort to make it harder for you to recover… It’s our responsibility to make sure they never get back in…

Simply put, a narcissist will NEVER come back because they “value” you. They’ll never come back because they’ve done the necessary introspection and see the err of their ways. They’ll never come back to make amends. They’ll never come back because they want to make you happy.

The ONLY reason a narcissist comes back, is to use you. Or, knock you down lower than before. Sometimes, both.

Once you successfully get a narcissist out of your life, slam the door and BOLT IT SHUT! They won’t leave your life if you’re good supply. You have to put them out and patch any holes they can use to re-enter!

*Information from Quora.

Didn’t Win the Lottery, Back to Work in the Morning 😭

Well, I didn’t win. I stayed up tonight to get the powerball numbers because I just knew mine would be it. 😭 Didn’t get a single number 😂😂😂😂😭 Gosh I needed that $550 million!!!

I tell you what, I get so tired of winners from New Jersey, Michigan, and California. I want to win for Louisiana!! 🤦🏾‍♀️

It always fun to watch the press conferences that the lottery offices hold. I actually watched a few videos on YouTube to see what I’d be doing once I won. A girl can dream huh?!

And that’s exactly what I pay for. I spend that $10 and pay for a Dream, because that’s the reality of it for the majority of players. I always keep in the back of my mind that the person who won had to buy the ticket too. I’m sure they thought it was a long shot, but it happened for them. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Ultimately, all I want to do is be debt free, take care of my kids, parents, and siblings, and travel the world! I don’t ask for much, but I’m truly hoping that nobody wins tonight, so that my dream can live on a little longer.

P.S.

If you have a gambling problem, you probably shouldn’t buy tickets. Don’t play if you don’t have the extra money to spare. HOWEVER, you can’t win if you ain’t in!!!!!!!

Don’t listen to me! I’m a Libra in the truest form. 😂😂😂😂